As some of you know, I am heading to Sri Lanka for a week on a yoga retreat. This means 7 nights without Faye. To be honest this fact has brought me nothing but excitement, with my main mantra being “Yay! I get to sleep through the night!”
Now I know I’m quite lucky and my toddler often sleeps for a good 10 hours straight. And even then my husband often gets up with her before going to work. Meaning that I sometimes get a good 12 – 13 hours of me time. To read, sleep and snuggle in bed in a drowsy state on these super chilly autumn mornings. So I shouldn’t be that excited about sleeping through.
I think it’s more knowing that for a full week I don’t have to be constantly hyper aware. Even when Faye is at nursery, I’m clock watching to make sure I get all my admin, etc done before I have to go fetch her for the day. I’m thinking about what to feed her for dinner and what activities I might want to do with her the following day that might need planning.
And knowing that for a full week I can concentrate 100% on myself. My whims, my needs. I don’t have to worry about cooking or nap times. About whether there are sufficient healthy snacks readily available. About how to entertain a 15month old when it’s cold and raining and I really don’t feel like leaving the house.
In the months leading up to this trip I haven’t once thought, “But what if I’m crippled by missing her and can’t enjoy my trip?” And yet this is the first question most people seem to ask me.
How will you cope without seeing her for a FULL WEEK!
My response – lots of sun, whiskey and yoga! And don’t forget catching up with one of my best friends, sightseeing, reading and anything else that I happen to fill my days with.
Yes I will miss her, but that’s not going to stop me from having fun while I’m away and enjoying having proper “me time”.
With the number of people who are shocked by the fact that I’m going to LEAVE MY BABY with, Shock and horror….. her FATHER for a whole week! I have started to feel a little guilty. Should I really be so excited to go away without her? What if my husband can’t cope on his own?
Oh wait, this is me. Of course I should be excited. As a mom, its a 24/7 job that has no pay, sick days or leave. The fact that I’m actually able to take a week on my own is something to be celebrated not worried about.
Anyone going away for a week who doesn’t have children, gets the “High Five” of approval from friends and aquaintences. But the minute you have a child there’s this stigma behind not being with them 24/7.
Will Andrew cope? I married a man who is completely capable of taking care of himself, me and definitely our baby. Otherwise we wouldn’t have lasted 10 years together, and I never would have had a baby with him. Yes, he might do things differently to me. Yes, the routine Faye and I have will be messed up (but then that routine is more wishful thinking on my part than anything else). Yes, they might eat some interesting meals and both live on snacks. But at the end of the day they will both have fun without me. So why should I stress about whether they will be ok or not.
I find this idea that a family can’t cope without the mother always being present to be quite ludicrous! Especially in this day and age. Why do we bring other moms down with worry rather than celebrating them and the things that make them happy? Why suddenly when you become a mom does society think it’s more important for you to be super mom than to take some time to look after youself?
Being a mom is hard work, and having people around you who celebrate with you makes it easier. Be a supportive friend, they will appreciate it much more than you could possibly know.
Have fun beautiful people, and I’ll be blogging again when I’m back!